Just a word of warning, this was written as we watched James Bond and drank (beer, whiskey, and martinis). Comments were not edited for mixed company, and tongues loosened as booze flowed. So if anything offends you, my apologies. Not a lot of swearing, but topics of conversation might offend.
Hit the jump to see my journal while watching these movies.
5:18 Goldfinger starts. We discuss the books, the settlement with Kevin McClory, and some not so subtle (or funny)barbs by Steve’s son Connor that Bond copied some Austin Powers moves. Steve let me borrow his copy of The Battle for Bond which is in my reading queue right after Goldfinger (which I’m reading right now).
5:28 continuing to discuss the differences from book to movie, I’m really surprised how much of the book is in the movie. I’ve read TMWTGG and am now on Goldfinger, and I was expecting Goldfinger to be more like TMWTGG with characters carried over, but the differences are far fewer and in some cases far subtler. I’m looking forward to finishing the book to see what else is different.
5:30 We decide we want to go back in time to see if the hotel was as pristine then as it looks on Blu Ray. We also decide it would be awesome to stay in room 905…especially if Jill Masterson was in there with us. I know it sounds sexist to have 3 guys sitting around discussing Bond girls, but that is half the fun of the Bond movies. He’s a man’s man, and we all want to be like him in many ways. Not the least of which is the gallery of attractive women from his exploits.
Who wouldn't want to open a hotel door and find this waiting for them?
5:34 We actually discuss Sean Connery’s back hair (you can guage when some of the scenes are filmed based on how long his back hair was because it was shaved at one point). Interesting…yeah, that’s about all I can use to describe 3 guys talking about Connery’s back hair…interesting.
5:35 Jill Masterson…dead or alive…she’s eminently doable
You know you'd tap that.
5:36 I love Judi Dench as M, but my favorite has been and always will be Bernard Lee. I mean Judi Dench can dress down Brosnan and Craig, but Lee put Connery in his place and it was believable. I especially like when he’s talking to Moneypenny in that whole no-nonsense way while Connery is checking out her ass. Connery makes being a letch seem so cool.
She is damn good...
But in my opinion, he's better
5:43 First appearance of Q for the night…for all I love about the Craig movies not having Q (or R if they want to retire Q and have only Desmond Llewelyn ever be the man known as Q) with the gadgets is a noticeable missing piece I hope they bring back soon. Yes there is obviously a Q branch, but I do miss having Q himself.
God Bless this man, and every performance of Q he gave us
5:45 My god I can’t believe how good Blu Ray looks. Seriously, at times it looks better on screen than in real life. I had not watched anything on Blu Ray with a High Def TV before, and to be introduced to it in Bond makes me shudder at the thought of going back to the muddied DVD on Standard Def TV for the other movies.5:47 I wonder how much Slazenger paid for product placement, because I believe it’s a Dunlop in the book.
5:51 Steve points out the missing Goldfinger in the car as Odd Job drives away from the golf course, I had never noticed it before. And then there’s the Carvair plane that I looked up during that mysterious plane search.
Look Ma! No Maniacal Bond Baddie!
5:53 Let the drinks begin. First is a Japanese whiskey in honor of Bond’s love of bourbon in the books.
5:57 Jill Masterson is hot, but Tilley Masterson is cute. I really love how they make that distinction visually, yet still Tilley is a worthy Bond Girl. And they work as sisters.
I'm not sure if Jill Masterson is the kind of girl you could bring home to Mom,
but Tilley Masterson is, well except for the whole revenge killing thing.
6:04 Squealing tires on a dirt road, one of my favorite quirky novelties from 60s movies.
6:07 Old women with machine guns….God Bless James Bond movies
Heh Heh Heh
6:18 We’ve discussed the introduction of Pussy Galore, and how she was the oldest Bond girl. And dammit every time I see a plane I keep trying to see if that is the one in Nassau.
I must be dreaming...
6:21 The horns playing in the background as Pussy’s pilots walk up crack me up. No subtlety there, just blaring sexist horns. The 1960s make me laugh when stuff like that happens. No way could it happen now, and if it did…boy would the complaints be across the board.
6:25 The henchmen who deliver supplies to Goldfinger annoy me as they yell stuff each time he opens something up. I mean I know it’s supposed to make them appear lesser men than Goldfinger, but it just gets annoying.
6:34 The killing of the henchmen by Goldfinger after telling them his plans has become a topic of conversation. We understand why he tells them, so we know what to expect, but the movie takes a bit of a leap in logic at that moment. Why tell them if you are just going to kill them? Yes it gives the audience the exposition we need, but it doesn’t make any sense.
6:38 Junkyard where the car gets crushed, and the body is missing. Man, these missing bodies/people in cars is freaking me out.
6:46 The CIA Agent with Felix Leiter creeps me out the way he smiles at Bond and Pussy Galore walking towards the barn… what a creeper.
6:47 James Bond and Pussy Galore literally roll in the hay….heh I’d take a tumble with her.
6:49 5…4…3…2…0? Man Goldfinger wants to mess with western economies and counting. And yes he counts backward, skips the number 1, and doesn't leave a pause or beat for it either.
6:50 I wonder if the military was embarrassed about how they were depicted collapsing in ridiculous heaps when the nerve spray was introduced. I know it’s just an act to fool Goldfinger, but you would think military men would have a bit more pride.
6:54 The laser got wheeled to Fort Knox, it just doesn’t seem quite so intimidating when it’s not pointing at a man’s crotch.
6:58 Really the army fell for Goldfinger as an officer even though the portly ginger wasn’t anywhere in front of them before that?
6:59 Obligatory “Who throws a shoe?” line as Odd Job chases Bond throwing his hat. Odd Job is probably my favorite henchman. I love Jaws in The Spy Who Loved Me, but he was less menacing and more comic in Moonraker and that hurt him. Knick Knack is cool the way he tries to kill Scaramanga, but Odd Job is just a bastard who can take a beating and dish it out…until electrocuted.
7:04 Steve: This is like the rube Goldberg of atomic bombs. Scott: Oh the switch that says off!
Now if I drop the marble here, and it rolls down the shoot and flips the lever to start the compressor
to inflate the balloon, then the mouse might have time to shut the detonator off...or we could hit this switch over here
7:05 We continue to make Austin Powers comments which gets us wondering why only Mike Meyers was able to successfully parody Bond on the big screen (because obviously Archer has that market cornered in TV). Scott mentions the Matt Helm movies starring Dean Martin….must check them out.7:07 Goldfinger was portly, but not portly enough to block the window he was sucked out.
7:20 The Man With the Golden Gun
7:25 Magnetic tape always reminds me of my days at Jacobson’s Stores. It was where Steve, James, and I met. Jacobson’s was a high end retail chain, and I worked 3rd shift in the computer room at the corporate offices. One night I was working the operations side (we had 3 main duties, mainframe operations, Point of Sale system updates, and paperwork sorting) and I got really mad. I had thought I messed something up, reran a bunch of jobs and put myself behind schedule, only to find I didn’t mess up. A number was wrong I was comparing to. I saw red and threw a large magnetic tape at the wall…only problem it went through the wall. The rage and anger drained from me as I saw the tape hanging in the wall and heard the sound of plastic and plaster falling into the wall and onto the floor outside the wall. I stayed late and met with my boss and the Department VP the next morning. The VP (who was known for his temper and opened a door so hard a whole section of drywall had to be replaced) was really mad at me and gave me a good talking to…er yelled at me. As far as I know Jacobson’s never fixed the hole (I left the company about a year later) and they eventually went out of business. We had just put a sign over it that said “Yes We Can at Jacobson’s”. From what I understand that sign was there right up until they closed the doors.
7:28 Knick Knack is a greedy bastard. Tonight must be the night of awesome henchmen. Odd Job and now Knick Knack.
7:30 Was this Satlzman’s last movie producing? Need to look up if it was this or TSWLM. According to Wikipedia this was his last Bond movie.
7:35 Moneypenny looks long in the tooth by now, they really should have changed actresses. I love Lois Maxwell and she gives as good as she gets, but she sounds less like a flirt and more like a dirty old lady as the series progresses.
Lois Maxwell in Dr. No, witty repartee, not overly sexy as I feel the character works best,
but enough age similarities in looks to make it work
By now she's looking old enough that she's more of a creepy older woman
hitting on a younger man (even though she's the same age as Moore).
Maxwell's last role as Moneypenny was in A View To A Kill, by this movie, Moore
looked old enough that he should be settling down with her and not chasing Tanya Roberts' character
7:37 007 has far higher standards than 002. The belly dancer has a nice rack, but *shudder* her face….
She definitely has a great body, but that face, that butter face
7:40 Just saw the crew in the mirror after it got bumped in the belly dancer’s room during the fight. Blu Ray shows everything.
Smile for the camera crew members
7:47 I just finished reading TMWTGG so the differences are quite noticeable…of course the differences far outnumber the similarities, not just little changes, but most of the story is gone.7:50 Personally I prefer Maud Adams from TMWTGG, Steve prefers her in Octopussy. Her hair is better in Octo, but seeing her in the shower behind the doors in TMWTGG…dayam. Honestly I think it’s because she’s younger. I have no problem with older women, more often than not I find women to be more attractive as they get older and from 35 to 45 is the golden decade in my opinion. But something about Maud Adams in TMWTGG makes her slightly more appealing to me.
I say tomato
You say tomahto
7:52 For all his suave and debonair style, James Bond is willing to do anything for his mission, or in the case of TMWTGG his survival. I mean I hate to see Maud Adams act hurt, but it’s an added dimension to the Bond character that he’s willing to hurt a woman as much as he’s willing to charm and love her.7:54 Okay I want some place like Bottoms Up to open near where I live. Scantily clad almost naked women serving drinks while on all fours in the middle of a bunch of drunk perverts? Hell Yeah!
7:59 Christopher Lee’s rubbing his gun all over the chest and face of Maud Adams is disturbingly phallic. It’s supposed to be, but knowing that only makes it more uncomfortable to watch.
8:09 “Quite Titillating”…HAH! Roger Moore was great at giving a pun or a great line
8:12 Atomic Wedgie! And then a sumo wrestler holding his crotch…oh the laughs of a Roger Moore movie.
8:14 I flipped off James after he and I have been drinking we start getting a little loose with the comments and insults.
8:17 Laughs galore at the kick while the guy is bowing. Very Indiana Jones-esque...or is it that Indiana Jones' move was very Bond-esque?
8:23 Ah, JW Pepperman. He’s a southern sheriff with a big mouth like Roscoe P. Coltrane (from Dukes of Hazzard), only with twice the racism, and half the humor.
Can I just say Thank You to the producers for not including this guy in any other Moore movies?
8:26 I really love how Scaramanga’s golden gun breaks apart into such random and unassuming golden accessories.8:30 Britt Eckland has such a great body, but so many of the Bond girls have such prettier faces. I think it’s her mouth.
Best use of a bikini since Jill St. John
8:36 We’re at the scene at the MMA-esque fight and Miss Anders is the hottest dead girls since Jill Masterson
Even in death she is smoking hot
8:46 Any Bond car chase is cool, but it needs a BMW or Astin Martin, not an AMC. *Sigh* So 70s.
We get this in TMWTGG
But it just compare to this (DBS from Quantum of Solace)
Or better yet, this (DB5 from Goldfinger)
8:47 Knick Knack is awesome with his sarcastic little wave.
8:48 If they didn’t actually do this with a real car, the spiral jump would be ridiculous….however the slide whistle was not necessary.
8:51 One of my favorite bad guy gadgets…the flying AMC. It’s really cool that they gave this gadget to Scaramanga, and not Bond. Otherwise following up the flying car with the submarine car for Bond would have diminished what is my favorite Bond gadget, the Lotus from TSWLM.
To say I want one, is a complete understatement
8:57 Now that we are back on Scaramanga’s island, it’s getting good again (although Goodnight’s bumbling is a little tiresome…I can forgive her for wearing that bikini, though).
9:09 I don’t know any other Bond baddie besides Scaramanaga who not only tolerates his henchman’s attempt to kill him, but encourages it to keep his skills sharp. That makes Scaramanga and Knick Knack both a lot more bad ass.
9:18 I hate to sound sexist….I mean I am, but I hate to sound sexist…but Britt Eckland’s butt can push my buttons any day, even if it is ridiculous that’s all it took to cause the problem in the finale (Scaramanga used the big lever when he was showing the device to Bond)
9:21 Steve: missed opportunity, instead of George, Bond should have called the automatic pilot Otto
9:22 Bond really hates a cock blocker – Knick Knack got between him and Goodnight
9:30 License to Kill, not my favorite of the Dalton movies, but an underrated Bond flick.
9:35 Discussing how some of the Hildebrandt Rarity was used in the beginning of LTK, and digressed into what titles are used, and what movies borrowed only titles from the stories. My favorite anecdote of that topic is that TSWLM was an all new story because Fleming sold the rights to the title, not the story. I need to go read that book now.
9:49 A possible side effect of Dalton’s more serious Bond…we have digressed in our conversation to talking about the character Token Black from South Park…back on track.
I don't remember why we talked about him, but sure enough there he was,
Token Black, distracting us from James Bond
10:08 “We’re not a country club 007.” I love how M goes from angry to concerned so quickly with Bond. Robert Brown was good, but not as good as Lee and Dench.
10:14 As happens quite a bit, we have digressed into a Warhammer 40K conversation after talking about the Fleming Bond books for a bit…back to the movie….again
10:15 I’m drinking the closest thing to a Vesper Martini I can drink (martini #4) I don’t have Gordon’s gin, and all I have is vermouth…it tastes okay, but I’m just not a big fan of gin…except with Tonic water. I wonder if it would be better with the Kina Lillet and Gordon’s brand gin (I’m using Seagram’s).
10:17 I think we’re losing James. He’s in Bond overload, had too much to drink, and is really tired…Steve just commented about something and added “Knock on wood” and knocked on the table. James thought somebody was here.
10:25 Just finished discussing the Lotus from TSWLM. This guy found the Lotus and restored it. When he found it, the Lotus was painted red and I couldn’t figure out why until recently when I watched FYEO again. The Lotus gets destroyed but when Q rebuilds it, it’s red. From there I regaled James with the story about the transsexual that was in FYEO. The rumor has morphed over the years to say it’s Carole Bouquet, and supposedly Roger Moore’s reaction when he finds out ranges from upset to horrified depending on the rumor. According to Snopes it’s actually Caroline Cossey aka Tula, one of the bikini clad girls at the poolside.
It may look real 70s, and as far as cars doesn't have the classic look, but
this is my all time favorite Bond gadget
"One of these things is not like the other things
One of these things just doesn't belong
Can you guess which thing is not like the other things
before I finish my song"
10:32 Discussion between myself and Steve about which hair is better for Pamela Bouvier. I think the first hairdo looks better for her character, but Steve likes her hairdo after she “Cleans up” to look the part of Bond’s executive secretary. I think that hair looks too 80s for me.
I'll admit she could use some dolling up here
But to me this hair just screams late 80s.
The only thing she's really missing are some shoulder pads
10:33 Philosophical discussion about death and religion…I need a drink.
10:35 Prof. Joe Butcher…the best comedic role from this movie.
10:48 My daughter called me to say good night, and then I got grief for all my different ring tones. Doctor Who theme for my incoming call, and then a couple ring tones from Archer which resulted in my playing a bunch of Archer sound files
10:52 The best thing about LTK: how much of a part Q has. I’m dead serious on this. Q is one of my favorite characters from the entire series. His banter with Bond works in every movie, unlike Moneypenny whom I discussed earlier as getting too old in some of movies to have realistic sexual tension in her banter with Bond. The first time I watched LTK I was really worried that Bond would not see Q once he went rogue, so to have him show up, and then be an integral part of the entire movie is great.
10:55 That gun that Bond uses to try to snipe Sanchez is bad ass.
10:59 James looks up just as Bond wakes up in Sanchez’s house and sees that freaky statue…”Oh man. Wrong time to look up.”
11:05 Miss Bouvier can strip down to her lingerie/loose fighting swimsuit anyday. I think it’s a swimsuit, but at times it wears like it’s lingerie. Either way, hommina hommina.
Schwing!
11:10 Daly’s Bond is so dark at times in this movie. I mean he doesn’t even flinch when the guy’s head explodes.11:15 Awesome Q moment: Rolling his eyes as Sanchez’s girlfriend says she loves Bond. Vintage Q.
11:24 Accountants are such whiners. It’s like you expect them to look at you and say in a really nasally voice “Good. Bad. I’m the guy with the ribbon tape calculator.” “But this setup cost 32 million. We have to try to save it.” God what a whiner that kid is.
11:27 Oh my god, I can’t believe how many gruesome deaths this movie has. It may not have the highest body count, but it has to have the highest blood spatter quotient.
11:33 The tractor trailer riding on the driver side wheels to let the missile fly under it cracks me up…everytime.
I'm not sure why I laugh at this, but I'm sure it has to do with how dark this movie is
11:35 For once I cheer the bad guy when he kills the whiny accountant.11:40 They say Bond is cold in this movie, but damnit Felix’s wife was just raped to death and he’s ready to go fishing? Now that’s cold.
11:49 The next movie on the list was The World is not Enough. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Instead we’ll watch an episode of Archer and call it a night. I’m not going to blog during that because I have a feeling I’ll be laughing too hard to type anything anyway.
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